Your child’s school is looking for bake sale donations, it’s Girl Scout cookie time and you’ve got orders coming out of your ears, a friend wants you to chair a committee to save the whales, a signup sheet was left on your desk from your boss to run for his favorite charity, the neighbor on your block is coordinating a bowl-a-thon and knocked on your door for help and you’re compelled to not say NO NO NO !!!
Most of us are selfless individuals who will work painstakingly and volunteer on projects to save and/or raise money for every cause under the sun. The question is when is enough simply enough? Eventually we come to feel our efforts to give back can be exhausting, sometimes unappreciated and maybe not even worth it. Women are more likely to volunteer and give more compared to men who do so only about 25% of the time according to the Corporation for National & Community Service. Makes one wonder just how much better they are at saying no than we are, right? All kidding aside, it’s not to denote how wonderfully rewarding volunteering can be and how essentially important it is to our communities.
Still, there are so many ways you can get trapped into unrewarding volunteer work and knowing how to escape from that will help you manage your desire to do good so that everyone benefits. Remember, helping should fit in with your desire and ability to provide the time and effort that best suits you, your lifestyle and how it affects others in your life.
1. Feeling Guilty – Try focusing on whether you can actually do the work well first. If you feel you can’t, then try responding, “I’d like to help, but it’s important to me to do a good job and right now I’m stretched a little thin to commit right now.”
2. The Trip Itself – Some groups just take up all your time, zap you of energy and never let you go. Try responding, “I enjoyed helping this year (and last) but just because no one else steps up, doesn't mean I promise to do this every year. I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone new.
3. More Time Than You Planned – It’s easy to over commit because we don’t realize how much time it will take or the unexpected that may arise in our personal lives. Try responding, “It sounds wonderful, but my plate is full and I always over commit. So can you tell me how much time this will entail and I’ll get back to you after I check my calendar?”
4. Being asked to do what you don’t like – We lose interest fast if all we’re asked to do is stuff envelopes or make phone calls. Try responding, “My strong point is doing creative jobs not manning a phone. If you need help with that, please call me.”
Your time is valuable and having a big heart is commendable but, do not let volunteer coordinators with velvet tongues or strong-arm strategies make you feel guilty into stepping up to the plate when the moment really doesn't strike your fancy. It's okay to say no ... truly it is. Hold out for when it feels right.
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