No one likes to have unnecessary drama in their lives especially coping with difficult people. There is so much tragedy, heartache and difficulties to contend with in our personal lives and work place we certainly don’t need to increase the madness by involving ourselves with individuals who suck the life out of us.
Granted, there are those in-laws who interfere more than you would like, the neighbor who knows every time you change your underwear or the charity person who always hounds you for help. Generally they all mean well, have a good heart, can be tolerated and avoided when you want to.
Toxic personalities, however, can be crippling, harmful and simply have traits that may be damaging to your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Do you know who they are?
Bullies
We’re not talking the playground kind either. Bullying in the workplace is even worse and happens more often than not. Most companies have policies dealing with sexual harassment but like many schools & universities, none for this issue. A study by the International Conference on Work, Stress and Health, revealed bullied employees prefer to quit their jobs than deal with it and were more stressed and harbored more anger and anxiety that affected their work. Bullies use deception, amoral behavior and abuse of power. 37% of individuals nationally have been bullied.
What can you do? There are some great sites that address this issue.
Abusers
No one wants to admit they are in an abusive relationship. DO NOT blame yourself if you are being mistreated by your partner, your spouse or family member. You don’t have to go it alone because there is a strong support system available. Communities provide resources like your local police station, YMCA, church, synagogue, or other place of worship. Or you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233). The only way to stop it is removing your self from the situation. You will not have to stand alone.
Gossips
In the work place it can be destructive and have serious consequences. People who do the tongue wagging are generally passed over for promotion because they cause dissension amongst fellow employees. Gossipers rarely tell the truth and tend to embellish to make them self look better. That old adage “show me don’t tell me” has some value to it. Only believe what you see and not what you hear as most gossipers begin their story with, “I heard.” Your wrong judgment of someone can cause a devastating effect both personally and professionally and creating an audience for such a person only gives them the opportunity to fuel the fire. Ignore them and walk away.
Toxic Controllers
You know who these kinds of people are. They try to take you away from other loved ones. Don’t want you to be friends with any one else. They may demand all your time and become upset when you make plans for activities that include others. They always find the negative in a situation and perhaps are always putting you down. Kick these people to the curb and distance yourself from them.
Cheaters
Cheating is a sign of a much bigger problem. If one can get to the bottom of why, a relationship may be salvageable and prove stronger and better in the long run. Often those who cheat with a sexual act are two types of people. Those who pray on another’s needs to satisfy their own and those who didn’t mean to cheat but circumstances evolved before they stopped themselves like the death of child and not being able to talk or get comfort from your partner or spouse. Individuals who fall out of love may seek other relationships while still married because they need a fulfillment, but don’t want to hurt the other person. In the end what truly matters is the pain one causes. What we need to do is own up to it, be an adult and do what’s right for all involved.
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